It is more than 30 years now since I left my native country of France, or, to be more exact, that I escaped. I spent then the most part of these years trying to deny my roots, my origin and even my identity, without even trying to get a new one. On the contrary, I always refused to put down new roots anywhere, or with anybody. I have simply erased the past, reclaimed my universal liberty and always stated that these were the most important things in my life: my liberty and my wings… being aware though, deep inside and perhaps not always consciously, that liberty and wings are only fine as long as you know how to use them…
It is only a short time ago that I returned to France with pleasure and began to feel home when I am there, 2 years in fact. 2 years since I met by pure accident (an accident, really? pure, certainly!) the Man whom I have stopped to search for even in my dreams. After having met and being held in his arms, I felt how everything within me started again to fall back into place. As if I had been all the time a puzzle piece wrongly placed in the finale image of the world, an immense puzzle made of millions and millions of elements.
I then felt the need to return to France, to show him my Pyrenees mountains, the house where I was born, the schools where I had studied, the fields where I had played. I felt my whole past coming to life again, and it was wonderful to feel this life within me, after the big cold black hole that I had become…
And when I look at myself in the mirror today, I smile. I don´t ask anymore:
“Who is that?”
I look at the reflection of his face in my eyes and I whisper:
“Thank you, Kevin, I love you!”